THE SCARY TORNADO!!!!!! (made up story)

The scary tornado
Bang crash…...I heard a terrible noise.


It all started when I invited my friends Ella and Ahi for a sleepover.


It was a sunny saturday morning. Suddenly I heard a terrible train noise. I looked outside, I saw it. “A Tornado” I screamed to all the others. Ella said "don’t panic you're just dreaming". Ahi looked outside she asked Ella to look outside. “Aaaahhhh” Ella panicked even though she said not to.


We quickly frightenly looked outside again. “The road is wasted” Ahi whispered to us.”The wind it’s so strong and muscly like a wrestler fighting a roaring dragon” shouted Ella.”Shhhhhhh” I whispered and groaned at the same time.“Our eyes are watering from sadness”


Lets look outside again. The house next door it’s totally up in the air.”There is shattered glass all over the sore frightened ground”said Ahi.


I can see something, a big whirl it sounds like a big train engine flying and roaring past us. It is so freezing cold. It smells like smoke coming out. 


I think,                                                              I positively think, it probably is a TORNADO, we all screamed.

This is what it looked like.



Comments

  1. Magnificent writing...you have really captured the moment, You hooked in every single student in Room 9 when we shared this piece of writing this morning. One hundred percent. Great use of personification too.
    Have a read and work with Rilee to get that punctuation right for your parts where people are speaking and having a conversation together.

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  2. Great story Gypsy. It would be very frightening to see a tornado wouldn't it!

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